September 19, 2005

  •                                      "Graduating from My Bible Study"


    Friday night, I went to church for the English-speaking small groups. 


    BTW, let me say this again: If you ever meet a former U.S. Marine and you ask him if he's a former Marine and he ain't insulted (he SHOULD say, "I am a Marine now and will ALWAYS be a Marine") then he probably got dishonorably discharged and couldn't handle Marine life, the poor p*ssy.


    Saturday, I spent with my family.


    Sunday, I woke up late (gotta love afternoon church services) and then went to the Korean-language sermon.  I prayed hard.  After a brief coffee break downstairs, we met back upstairs in the sanctuary.  I then found out at the last minute that I would have to stand up in front of all the people since my class had graduated from beginners' small group.  When they told me this, I exclaimed loudly, "Oh CHRIST!" right in the middle of the sanctuary.  Great going, BFK.


    Then on the big projector, they listed the five people who were graduating.  All the names were in Korean except mine, which was in English, which is strange since I had given them my name written in Korean several weeks ago.  I was so embarrassed because I hate standing out like that.


    They gave certificates to each of us.  They gave the title of "Most Caring" to one girl, "Most Diligent" to another girl, and "Most Friendly" to me (don't ask me why).  If anything, I probably deserved "Most Horny."  I was about to sh*t a brick thinking they would make me talk (in Korean) in front of all those people, but one girl spoke for all of us.  The teachers described our personalities when presenting the awards.  About me, one teacher dude said that I was friendly and that I was the the first person he ever met who did bok-seuhb (preview of new material before it's actually taught) before each Bible study.  The native Korean audience gave the stereotypical polite expression of being impressed ("Waah!").  I think the ones who knew me knew that I have to do bok-seuhb because otherwise I'd be lost during class what with reading the Bible in Korean and all.  Then they presented certificates to the other graduating students from the other class.


    In the hallways, where I was talking with this one dude I knew, this girl (one of the former nursing home volunteers of whom I used to have fantasies of feeling up on a date) came up to me smiling, made a fist, and said, "<BFK's name>, FIGHTING!"  She knew I had trouble communicating in Korean, so she was giving me the Korean phrase for "Keep it up!  You can do it!"  She said she thought I was just visiting when she saw me a few weeks ago at church and was shocked that I had graduated from the beginners' group.  I also talked with another nursing home volunteer, this one woman my age.  Nicest of the bunch with the biggest heart AND the most devout, she came up to me and said she was shocked but happy to see me joining the Korean Ministry side of our church.  I said I was just trying it out until the end of 2005 to see if I could handle the language.  The girl always kept her optimism despite many hardships that life has dealt her.  Her latest:  She is still recovering from a gall bladder operation and is still in pain.  Yet she musters the strength to lead a small group, do volunteer work (the best among all of us nursing home volunteers), AND be a perfectionist at work.  If I wasn't such a shallow guy, I'd marry this girl.  But alas if the real world were like Great Expectations and I were shallow-minded Pip, she'd be warm-hearted Biddy.  But then again, Biddy does go on to lead a much happier life than Pip who realizes what a shallow jerk he's been throughout much of his life by being so shallow-minded and chasing after his Estella.


    I couldn't find my group to which I was assigned, so I temporarily sat in this other class.  At the end, I left right after class finished.  They asked me where I was going and why I wouldn't eat with them.  Very nice people they were.  I said I had someplace to go.  Then I drove to my parents' home.


     


    Post-entry note:  I really am trying to lead a new life in both a spiritual as well as physical sense.  In addition to avoiding alcohol, tobacco, and caffeine (due to my doctor's advice), I want to avoid cursing and being overly critical of people (including northern VA Korean-Americans).  I want to get closer to God.


    Yes, this is BFK saying this.  I can talk more sh*t than anyone.  I can smoke a cigar with more mastery and consume more alcohol than Keith Richards.  I have penetrated more women than the most popular brand of tampons.  I can take any interpretation of the Bible and show that how mainstream Christians interpret it is often questionable.  I still think certain pastors at certain churches are corrupt with money and that most of the K-As (as opposed to native Koreans) I meet at a church are full of sh*t.  And most significantly of all for me, it's fun to write about this sh*t.


    Having said that, I am going to devote myself - while I am in this Bible study - to learning more about God.  I am going to put limits on my mouth and what I write.  If I go with this, I go all the way or not at all.