April 22, 2008

  •              "Another Moral Dilemma for BFK"

    Say that a girl (we'll call her Psycho Girl) who lives far away from northern Virginia - she actually lives in a city that has no Koreans - sometimes attends your church because she is friends with one of the girls there.  Say that you and the Psycho Girl talked for a bit.....and say she sticks a knife in your back and you don't know why.  Say it was totally uncalled for and made no logical sense at all.

    Then say her female friend at your church LOVES to play matchmaker all the time.  Say her friend tries to set up Psycho Girl with one of your closer male friends and confidantes at the church (and the church's most eligible bachelor).  Say that you figure out that Pyscho Girl likes your friend for marriage purposes.  The question is, does your friend feel the same way about her?  The answer COULD be yes.

    Say that Psycho Girl has driven several hours to come to northern Virginia this past weekend (because she was in town to meet the church's Most Eligible Bachelor in a group gathering Saturday night per the machinations of her friend, the busybody matchmaker).  On Sunday morning, she visits your church and gives off clear body language that she wants there to be peace with you...only you won't give her the opportunity to speak with you because you are still understandably irritated by that past backstabbing that really crossed the line.  Say also that you figure she is likely wanting to be conciliatory and apologetic to you, not only because she knows that she was in the wrong...but that you, alias BFK, are now in the awkward, but somewhat satisfying, position of being able to tell your friend, the Most Eligible Bachelor, about the backstabbing and thus ruin her chance at future happiness.  Everyone knows that every Korean-American knows every other Korean-American living in the same geographic area....but she likely did not imagine, due to the fact that she lives so far away from the northern VA. area in an area with almost no Koreans, that in such a large church that the guy known as BFK and the guy known as the church's Most Eligible Bachelor were good friends and confidants.

    Say that now the guy known as BFK has a decision to make:  Should he tell his friend about the previous backstabbing by the Psycho Girl?  He knows that his good friend, the church's Most Eligible Bachelor, could very well otherwise end up married to the Psycho Girl (who really isn't that bad a girl, despite her flaws like the occasional backstab which is SOOOOO unnecessary).  He knows that both he AND she are good Christian, conservative folk....except for her onetime snobby backstabbing of the guy known as BFK.  And he knows that if he told his friend everything about the previous backstabbing drama involving the Psycho Girl that the church's Most Eligible Bachelor likely would keep a distance from Psycho Girl since they have only just recently gotten acquainted.

    But would the guy known as BFK be sharing this information with the church's Most Eligible Bachelor because he cares about his friend?  or would he do it because he is still p*ssed with the Psycho Girl?  And is he better off NOT saying anything to his friend about it?

    That is the moral dilemma that must be decided by this coming Wednesday when the BFK and his friend, the church's Most Eligible Bachelor, meet.

     

    But also noteworthy about this story is the moral lesson taught:  What goes around comes around.  Be careful who you backstab because later they are either in a position to help you....or hurt you.

Comments (9)

  • Happy Tuesday BFK Oppa!! I love the moral of the story =)

  • very interesting dilemna.. i've always believed in karma and seems like she is in for her just punishment.. however, is this backstabbing situation something that could hurt your friend as well and that is something that is her character?  or was it something that was small enough that could be forgiven to maybe take the higher road and let it slide?  she may have learned from her mistake and being more apologetic to you..  I do believe in karma but I also believe that ppl can change if given the chance.

  • I think the fact that you labelled the chick "psycho girl" says it all. If she's truly psycho...why the hell wouldn't you warn  your friend???? 

  • Like the moral said.  But keep in mind this is your friend we're talking about.  If you have a beef with her, leave it with her.  Involving him in your personal matters is rather selfish and could cause a rift between you two.  I'd like to sit back and watch.

  • hmm- he has no idea that you know that girl personally? isn't that kind of hiding information from him? oh well, i guess thats the dilemma, if he really likes that girl maybe it won't matter what you say to him and maybe he will still try to get to know her.. and find out her side of the story? :P

  • Why does BFK talk in the third person?  I would like to join in on the fun.  Linda thinks BFK should talk to the Psycho Girl (PG) first and find out why backstabbed him.  If it's a good enough reason (objectively), BFK should let her go find happiness and unicorns and fairies in the Land of Marriage.  If not, BFK should just warn his friend she is not entirely sweet, but give his HONEST opinion of PG to his bachelor friend anyway - personal feelings aside. 

  • it should be just as u say.  In your opinion do you think this girl is good for ur friend.  Knowing what kind of person she is.. do you think she can work out with ur friend.  IF NOT, then express why to ur friend, you dont even have to tell him about the backstabbing part.

    As christians, you cant lie, or spread rumors/gossip.  Of what you know of this girl, and her personality, u can offer ur friend advice, but thats about it.  mmm.. or let it play.. as alex719 says.. just sit n watch.

    i'd say, just look for the best interest of ur friend.. AND the psycho bitch. Even if she did backstab u, shes in a position now to be all the more good to u.  If u cause the relationship to become sour, she may LOOK for opportunities to get back at u.  Your supposed to respond to an attack with love right? WWJD?

    GL!

  • the truth comes out....either way.

  • Good Christians should be able to forgive someone who seeks out to right the wrong they’ve done.  Talk to this psycho chick and ask her why she did what she did.  Put your personally feelings aside if and when your friend asks you about her...you can talk to him about her good assets as well as bad without having complete distance himself from her.  If you state what you know, including her backstabbing you, without injecting your personally feelings it could be a win-win.  Just remember that could potentially be ruining his chance at future happiness too.

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