May 13, 2008

  •            "Girls and Male Athletes"

    Maybe I've watched too many macho movies like Top Gun (with Tom Cruise) and Colors (with Sean Penn) and too many Korean TV dramas like Maji-Mak Seung-Bu (with Jang Dong-Gun supposedly playing basketball)....but today, I want to talk about the athlete.

    Recently we had an athletic competition at our church, and I was asked to join by some much younger friends.  Now, I suck at almost all sports, be it football, basketball, skiing, golf, tennis, etc.  But there are a rare few physical activities at which the BFK excels relative to your normal person:  Drinking gargantuan amounts of alcohol, smoking cigars, b*nging a girl mutiple times like a rabbit on LSD,.........and long-distance running. 

    Well guess what the athletic activity was?

    A 10-mile race. 

    You might as well have told me it was a soju-drinking contest, or a cigar-smoking contest, or a steak-eating contest, or TVLand-watching contest, or a who-can-bang-Pamela Anderson-the-most contest. 

    So after months of training with a group of people at our church (because we were officially competing with another team at the church), we ran the race.  And yes, I did my usual business in the run and ran around an 8.25 minute mile pace throughout the whole race.  Yes, I beat everyone at my church....except one much older guy on the other team (irony or ironies).

    But the strange thing was....the reaction by some of those of the opposite gender.

    It was like suddenly they knew I existed.  Girls who had never even looked my way or refused to acknowledge that I occupied the space that I did on this earth....were greeting me with a smile and a wave in the days before and after the race.  And one even was being downright flirtatious.  (Too bad she wasn't my type.)

    Now don't get me wrong, it was a pleasant surprise and all.....but all I could think was, "Why are you girls suddenly so nice because I decided to sweat and perspire and grunt like a pig and overall just torture my body??" 

    But when God gives you these rare opportunities to show your stuff....you should really show your appreciation to Him for it.  It's like being a tennis player with a KILLER forehand but no backhand...yet your opponent in the championship match always hits the ball to your forehand.  I mean, no, the contest wasn't a who-can-bang-Pamela Anderson-the-most contest....but it was a time where God took one of my few areas of strength.....and allowed me to excel.

    Yeah, yeah, so moral lesson learned.....the strangest things excite girls sometimes.  They are some WEIRD creatures, girls.

    But next time, I'd prefer a Who-Can-Bang-Pamela-Anderson-the-Most Contest. :)

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