May 15, 2008

•                   "BFK Advises a Naive Guy"

  I am a wise, weather-beaten, life-beaten, often cynical, older man.  I can kind of get away with this when hanging with the younger crowds because of my younger-looking face and my long-distance running.  But make no mistake about it - I earned my experience and wisdom.

  So what I cannot STAND is when I see naive kids (meaning those in their 20s) making the STUPIDEST of mistakes.  I hate it even more when I see people in their 30s doing it.

  As some of my previous entries have shown, I have often advised younger girls who fall for the same repeated patterns (over the ages) of hooking up with a player....and then getting burned later.  Well today, I focus on the guys with certain tips gleaned from a conversation (if you want to call it that because it was actually a one-way monologue) that I shared with this one naive guy, but who is around my age, from my church last night.

  # 1.  If you are fired from your job.....DON'T TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT!  And just blaming your boss for supposedly screwing you is sure to make many people to whom you are revealing this also question YOU and YOUR abilities.  Even if you are 100% not to blame for the firing....when you tell others, the immediate question on people's mind is, "What did you do wrong?"  I really don't think that a normal person wouldn't have seen this coming long before the bomb was dropped.  (And I found out from another person that there HAD been signs that this was coming.)

  #2.  If more than one person has told you or implied to you (even in a joking manner) that you talk way too much and dominate a conversation....there's a very good chance that it's true.  If you notice that people tend to avoid you, this, along with the hints and jokes that people have made to you about talking too much, SHOULD tell you that your current way of behaving is NOT going to win you friends that want to hang around you.

  #3.  And if you've never really dated a girl in your ENTIRE LIFE (and let's say you're around BFK's age)...then it's not likely that you're gonna find that special girl anytime soon unless you make certain changes in your personal approach.  Your naivete in #1 about how you didn't see an impending firing by your boss and your naivete in #2 about how you don't know that you turn people off by talking too much likely indicates that this is part of a pattern that you are OBLIVIOUS to many aspects of the real world.  And if you're oblivious to things like THAT....no WONDER you're oblivious to how to play the damn dating game. 

  And sure, you may be happy with yourself the way you are now.....but obviously you are not happy with the results (getting fired because you ignored the previous warning signs from your boss, having fellow guys avoiding you because you talk too much, and not being able to find a girl because you probably bored the sh*t out of them).

  Man, I wish I had said this all to him last night.  But it was supposedly a men's sharing time among three of us church guys (even though he did 99% of the talking), so I merely listened and offered support.  After all, I HAD advised him in the past about his talking too much in a group, which he apparently either ignored or forgot, so what good would it have been to advise him on the other stuff? 

  • 11:09 am
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