Okay, I'm in a really irritated mood right now about many things.  So hence I am feeling REALLY immature now.  Now on to today's entry!

                             "BFK's Online Hit List"

Okay, it's CLEAN-UP TIME!!!!!!!!

1.  I won't say names, but to one person, I got this to say:  Do you think you can snub me (yet again) for my b-day dinner despite my text message and IM invitations to you, without saying either a yes or no.....and then wish me a happy birthday on my Xanga blog (on my last entry)....and think I'm okay with you're not having responded (in either a "yes" or "no thanks" response) to my previous invites?  You were labelled as "unreliable" by me and another friend in the past (for good reason)....but damn, I am disappointed with you with you're not even RESPONDING to my recent invite; I understand people can't make dinners (even birthday dinners)....but you didn't even respond with a polite rejection to my repeated invites.  So if my bad mood persists, you are OFF the subs. list tonight....and out of my life.

2.  To another xanga person (in NJ) who I happened to see at the Cafe' Asia in Arlington, VA and who used to subscribe to me: As I mentioned to you in Xanga Private Message, yes, we do know some of the same people (since every Korean knows every other Korean in VA...and in NY)....but if you're gonna put up a Friends Lock on your xanga blog and refuse to include me, I don't see why I should answer your question as to who all the people are that I know that know you (even though you keep asking me).  And apparently, you need to be watching your behavior and your TEMPER from what they tell me, Miss Uptight!  And yes, I swore them to secrecy that they know me.  But yeah, I DO know a lot of people, a few of who know you.  Only you'll never know who they are....or what they say about you.  Why should I share that info with you?  They're my friends.

BTW, your bf's quite the midget, isn't he?  Good match for you.

And more coming....  Damn, I'm in a p*ssed off mood today.

I got a lot of stress on my mind these days.

But somehow despite all the personal stress, I still had a festive dinner with lots of well-wishing friends gathering together on Sunday (with people from two churches, one girl I met at Tysons Corner Mall a few months ago, and even one or two xanga friends).

And now I will go to see my parents on this very day that I am taking off from work....my actual birthday.

So not to sound egotistical, folks, but GIVE ME SOME BIRTHDAY LOVE!

          "BFK's Last and Greatest 10-Mile Race EVER"

All done.  1 hour, 24 minutes.  And I'm almost crippled now in my right knee.

But I did it!  And at an even a faster pace than what I did it in 2003, my best year.

Why do we do these things to our body for the sake of ego.......

As for the NCAA Basketball Championship:  Go Jayhawks!!!!!!

                          "Preparing for the Race"

So Sunday is the 10-mile race.  It's also close to my birthday.

One thing, though, I've discovered while training for this race:  I have gained a lot of weight since beginning training a few months back....as in FAT.  I have been developing a gut.  And I don't think I eat THAT much fatty stuff.

Ironically, my running has gotten better and better.

Can't wait for this race to end....then I can settle for just running 3 or 4 miles every other day rather than 8, 9, or 10 on the weekend, resulting in me having to rest three days to recover (and thus gain more weight).

But come Sunday.....

I am sooooo gonna kick *ss.

                            "The Return of the Tysons Corner Mall Girl"

So with all this running I've done (I did ten miles last night), my body is sore....but my libido is going as strong as ever.

Now, when I last spoke with the Tysons Corner Mall Girl, she said tearfully to me, as I gently ended it with her, that it was good that I was not there....for otherwise she would lose her reserve and make love with me. 

This memory surfaced in my head this morning.  And so I found myself calling her.  If you all recall, Tysons Corner Mall Girl was the one who kept waking me up on the night of Valentine's Day by stroking my face while I slept.  Now, with me having broken up with Ms. Virgin, I can see the TCM Girl without worrying about two-timing. 

So tomorrow night, we will meet...maybe at her place.

Damn hormones.  It seems the better shape I'm in....the more I wanna bang.  So I'd better stop training for ten-mile races after this one is over.

Oh, btw, guess who I think I saw at Cafe' Asia in Arlington, VA last week.  Yep, good ol' meanbean78. Haha.  Hurry up and get married to the half-Chinese dude, chick.  And best wishes.

Rhythm is everything in boxing. Every move you make starts with your heart, and that's in rhythm or you're in trouble."

—Ray Robinson

                "Rhythm in Running"

No one knew boxing better than Sugar Ray Robinson in the 1950s, perhaps the greatest pound-for-pound fighter ever.  Roy Jones, Jr. was himself very rhythmic in how he fought in the 1990s, treating each boxing match like it was a hip-hop dance.

So can Robinson's quote about rhythm apply to running as well?

The Cherry Blossom Ten-Miler is approaching.  And my training has gone okay.  I've done everything from fast three-mile runs to slower eight-mile runs.  But at times it seems to be such a chore.

So I figure, maybe I just haven't learned to truly get into the rhythm of running.  Maybe I don't treat it enough like a DANCE, the way Ray Robinson did in boxing.  Maybe if I DID become more rhythmic, almost dance-like, I could really improve my running so that I can kick some serious *ss.

I run approximately an 8.5 minute mile when I do ten-mile races.  My goal is to break an 8-minute mile pace.  Maybe this is just what I need to push me onto the mountaintop?

"And crossing the finish line now at the 2008 Cherry Blossom Ten-Mile Race is......BFK, hip-hop artist!"  haha.

                     "A Drama-Free Life???  No Thanks!"

I often get myself into drama....and sometimes it is the kind of drama that seriously affects my personal life and, at times, even my professional career.

Once I get into this kind of drama, I swear off drama for the rest of my life.  I promise myself that I will just go about my life, taking care of my responsibilities in my personal as well as my professional life and just playing it low-key, always being below everyone's radar.  In other words, I resolve to be Mr. Conservative, though some might label it Mr. Boring.  And after several months of this, I can't stand the boredom.

So then I find myself stirring up something (subsconsciously) to make my personal and professional life more exciting.  It's kind of like those Asian-American kids from the movie, Better Luck Tomorrow, who are straight A students....but who are sooo bored with their strait-laced lives that they eventually resort to illegal activities and eventually become gangsters.  Needless to say, this brings much harm to them and to others later.  Another movie to describe what I am feeling would be Dangerous Liaisons, or its re-make, Cruel Intentions, whereby two step-siblings (in the latter movie) decide to f*ck - both literally and figuratively - other people as some sort of game in order to escape boredom.  Of course this brings destruction, and even death, to some of the parties.

Yes, dynamite is a terrible toy for which one should entertain himself; it will likely cause harm to both the bored man....and to those close by him.  (And obviously I refer to "dynamite" in a figurative manner since I would never play with it literally.)

But then again.....after weeks, months, or even years of no drama go by.....and one has led a drama-free life and has lived a safe, conservative life, albeit perhaps a boring one, one oftentimes finds himself getting back into it again.

Only, he shouldn't be surprised when there's an explosion.

UPDATE:  Bored BFK just set himself up a date with a 24 year-old girl he met at church.  Just WHY would he get himself involved in this new drama with everything going on in his life?????

The day that I celebrate St. Patrick's Day........

......is the day all Americans celebrate King Sejong Day.  I am neither Irish nor am I Catholic.

I am a Protestant Korean-American.

And damn proud of it.

Of course I will likely grab a drink or two today...but not to celebrate St. Patrick's Day.  I do that most days anyway.

            "Sex Scandals:  Spitzer, Hypocrisy, and BFK"

So with the recent announcement that corruption-fighting NY Governor Eliot Spitzer had been involved with a prostitution ring, there have understandably been cries of hypocrisy.  It all sort of reminds us of President Clinton, the Reverend Jimmy Swaggart, and that married Senator who got caught propositioning a male police officer in the bathroom.  It was about SEX SCANDAL.  But to me, it's about more than that....to me, it's about HYPOCRISY, something I fear the most.

I don't want to ride the fence between morality and immorality to avoid appearing the hypocrite, but I still cannot commit to being this completely moral Christian guy who demands that others be moral also.  I could so easily be involved in sex scandal.  Maybe that's why I try to present myself as the worst of human beings on this blog, with an overfondness for banging the female gender.

If word got out on Xanga that BFK slept with a girl of ill repute.....people would go, "Is anyone surprised?  Look how much he likes sex!  Hell, read his blog!"  So maybe it's a defense mechanism on my part that, in the past, I would write about how I went on a date with a girl and then banged her.   I want you to all know I'm a human.  Plus I'm a 'ho dog.

And now that I am trying to be this good Christian, I have yet to really post about being moral and such, encouraging others to follow certain behavior guidelines....because I know that at a moment's weakness, I could find myself being naughty and entering the Big Forest (well, with girls these days, it's more like the Bare Canyon) like an overly curious turtle.

So what to do to prevent appearing the hypocrite?  Do I tell everyone I meet for the first time, "Hi, my name is <BFK's name>, and even though I am a Christian, I like sex with girls; I also like alcohol; sometimes I like them both at the same time!" to protect myself in case I DO get caught in a sex scandal?  Bad as that is, at least I wouldn't appear as bad as someone like a married pastor or church official posting up Bible verses all the time but who then gets caught banging a chick.  Because even more than getting caught doing something sinful I really fear appearing to be a hypocrite who was stands on his moral pedestal when he got caught.

But I am realizing that that is not good either.  I should live the most moral life I can.  I should encourage others to do so also.  But it's hard when I know that I of all people am the LAST person in this world to demand that everyone be moral and upright.

This past Saturday, I had attended a friend's birthday dinner.  I drank a LOT and thus had to crash at a friend's place rather than drive home.  Through my alcohol-induced state of mind, I dreamed the following dream:

                 "My Hopefully Not Foreboding Dream"

I was with my Bible study members from church, and we were going to the ski slopes to go snowboarding.

I brought along Ms. Virgin, the girl I've been kind of seeing, to show her off....as my new girl.  She, of course, didn't just blend into the small group crowd (Korean-American groups in church being what they are where it takes time, and a lot of luck, to be accepted into the group) but all thought she was a nice enough girl who was incredibly attractive (which she is in real life).  How proud I was to call her my girl.  My future wife.

Well, this was a unique ski resort....because instead of skiing, the only activity at this resort was swimming.  The resort was divided up into several large rooms, and in each room was a large swimming pool with a high-level diving board, and in some rooms, a waterfall.  If you were good enough, you could actually surf from one room to another, surfing on SOMETHING, be it water or electric currents.....or some sort of FORCE.  I was the one person who could do this successfully.

Then I found out that another girl was visiting the ski resort.....some of you who know me well know about whom I am talking because I dated her in real life.  In real life, her beginning story with me was here, here, and here.  Even though I didn't write about in detail, it continued when she visited me in April of 2006.  It continued into October 2006 when I went to Korea to see her.  And I saw her for the last time in May of 2007 when I visited Japan and Korea.  You, my readers, should know about who I am talking.....she goes by the initials, "SY."

So, as I was saying, SY visited the ski resort.  And she was looking as beautiful as ever.  And as she was making her way around the resort, I called out to her, "Hi, honey."  I said it while with my small group members.  My other girl, Ms. Virgin, was not around at the time.  But the members of my Bible study group heard me say it to SY.  And how I proud I was to be able to say this to her.  It meant I was someone very special to her, and vice-versa.

Then it occurred to me, "Holy crap!  My small group members will know that I like TWO girls.  My reputation will be ruined!"

Later, we were leaving the resort.  My small group members and Ms. Virgin had boarded their cars and were driving home.  I stayed behind with the excuse that I was going to attend a class within the resort itself.

I surfed, again, on water or electric currents....or some FORCE, from one room to the next.  Then I surfed to the last room, which had a large swimming pool like the others but which was one of the rare ones to have a beautiful waterfall.  It was practically a bathhouse, and the water was very clean.  As I looked at the pool, SY was in the water naked, with her back turned to me, washing her face; she had her own special way of washing her face that was so endearing.  And I knew that all I had to do was go up to her, touch her on the shoulder or back, and she would turn around and be in my arms.  Was she really there in the pool?  She most certainly was.  But the question was, would I go up to her and pull her to me?  Me, a guy already dating a great girl.

And then I woke up.  And I was going, "What the f*ck?!?"  But it was better than bawling.

And then I decided to never binge-drink beer and whiskey again.