January 29, 2008

•      "BFK and a Virgin Talk About Sex"

  So last night, I met the naive virgin girl.  And man, was she looking good!

  And after we ate dinner, we drove by a Starbucks to sit and talk over coffee.  But by then it was 9 pm, and the coffee shop was closed.  So we decided to stay in my car and talk.

  I told her I felt awkward around her because she was unlike any other girl I had ever met (at least those with the potential for marriage); I told her that the type of girls I had typically dated were the kind who had had a LOT of relationship experience, which I implied included sex, which oftentimes led them to being jaded and cynical about men.  But while they were jaded and cynical, at least they knew what was what in the world; this girl, who was in her thirties, on the other hand was like an innocent girl from elementary school when it came to relationships....which was not necessarily a bad thing because at least she wasn't jaded and cynical and burnt out from a string of bad relationships.  For her part, I was apparently the one guy who had been interested in her....that she could be interested in return, even though she knew I had not led the life of an angel.  As a result, we were both, despite our mutual attraction, a bit unsettled around each other.

  We talked about EVERYTHING, be it our family backgrounds, work, hobbies, thoughts, political affiliations, favorite movies, etc.  And then.....THE topic came up.  Don't ask me how.  Let's pick up the conversation in the middle:

  She said, "Can I ask you something...personal?"

  "Yeah, sure."

  "I thought about this after the last time we met.  Y-you seem to think a lot about a physical relationship, based on your past relationships...I mean...i-it's important to you."

  I paused.  "Um, don't get me wrong," I replied nervously. "It's not THAT important to me.  It's just a one small aspect of a marriage."  Man, could I feel my nose growing.

  "I see."

  "Yeah," I continued, looking at her.  "PLEASE don't misunderstand me....I am NOT interested in a physical relationship with you AT ALL before we're married."

  She nodded, also nervous.  "But it seems it is an important aspect of marriage for you?"

  "Well, as you know, it's how well the man and woman get along and have similar values and all that's important....because the, uh, passion wears off soon after they're married."

  "Oh really?" she said.

  I continued, "Yeah.  But, uh, do you KNOW what goes on in a marriage between a man and a woman?  I mean, like on the wedding night and all?"  Stupid question, I know, but being with a virgin unsettled me.

  She replied, "Yes, of course I know.  And I heard some people tell me that it's a very important part of a marriage.  Do you think that way, too?"

  I stared at her awkwardly.  "Uh....not after the first month."

  "Oh! Is that how long it takes....for the passion to go away?"

  "Well, I run a lot, so for me it might last a few weeks longer," I said, not believing I was involved in this conversation.  "But I am aware that it's not the sex that's important; it's how well the man and woman get along afterwards...how they talk - because they got nothing to do but talk to each other the rest of their lives."

  She nodded again.

  I didn't have the heart to tell her that whoever I married would have several YEARS of romping in bed to endure with me.  After all, I am the BFK, long-distance runner.

  I looked into her eyes again and said, "Uh, lemme ask you something.  Aren't you....kind of scared of, uh, what takes place on the wedding night and all, since you've never.....?  You know."

  She said, "I don't know if I can do everything properly like a good wife should.  But I will do my best to be a good wife.  I will be good to my husband and do my duties as a wife."

  "Th-that's all nice," I said staring at her awkwardly, "but I don't think any guy wants a girl to sleep with him because it was her DUTY.  He wants her to do it because SHE wants to do it."

  We both looked away embarrassed.  Then she said, "I will be a good wife."

  I looked at my watch.  "Hey, it's 10 o'clock.  I'd better get you back."

  "Okay."

  I turned on the ignition and pulled my car out of the space in the empty parking lot.  Then I held out my hand and said gently, "C'mon."  And she brought her hand to mine.  She stroked my fingers affectionately as I drove her to her car.

  After saying good-bye to her, I went home very perplexed.  Dating a virgin is new territory for me.  And it feels so awkward.  But it's also.....strangely refreshing.

   

  Extra note:  I may go to LA later this year....but will be avoiding anything related to this site: http://www.nexlevelproductions.com/    I encourage you all to do the same.  It's basically run by sleaze.

  • 2:25 pm
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