The eternal question:  When things seem to be going smoothly with a girl.....do you continue seeing her?  or end it?

And what if the girl is already considering marriage?

Sigh, why do people have to be so stupid?  Church politics is, in many ways, just as bad as what goes on in HBO's The Sopranos.  Minus the killing, of course.

                      "The Break-Up"

In large part because of the words of represent99, a guy I haven't even met in person, tonight I did the right thing....and broke a girl's heart.

And for your information, everyone of you, my readers, I never once made love with the girl I met at Tysons Corner mall.  Not once.  Yes, we slept in her bed together twice, but I never once did it with her, the first time it being her choice, and the second time, on Valentine's Day, when she was inebriated (and touching my face), it being my choice.

I can, with a clear conscience, go to bed tonight and sleep without any sense of guilt.

But it still hurts that I hurt such a good girl.....

Reporter in the early 1960s:  What do you like about the Rolling Stones?

Young fan:  I think the Rolling Stones have a lot more sex appeal than the Beatles.  They're so UGLY that they're appealing."

"The Advantages of Playing Second Fiddle"

I prefer to play second fiddle and not be in the limelight when it comes to social interactions with the opposite gender.

Some might call it an imitation game of the person playing first fiddle.  Take my favorite band, the Rolling Stones.  They tried to claim the title of the World's Greatest Rock 'N' Roll Band but during their first two decades of existence (their only good period), they were nothing more than imitators of other bands.  Granted, they did their own kind of music with their own kind of style, but the fact remains that they were doing some heavy imitating.  In the 1960s, they presented themselves to the world as the bad-boy alternatives to the Beatles.  After the blues and early rock 'n' roll stuff of the early sixties, they began releasing pop music that was a direct imitation of the #1 band at that time, namely John, Paul, George, and Ringo.  In the 1970s, after the Beatles had broken up, they imitated everyone from the punk rockers to the glam rockers (like David Bowie) but by the end of the decade they were mainly imitating the Bee Gees.....and their results proved to be very successful for them.  All by playing second fiddle and imitating others.

But I personally don't view playing the Second Fiddle Game as imitation.  It's just me being myself....only I avoid the limelight of head honcho....or alpha-male....or more eligible bachelor...or whatever.

When in a crowd of single folk, I don't want to be viewed as the most eligible bachelor.  If anything, I almost want to appear as either a very masculine eunuch....or even g*y so as to not appear to be hitting on the women.  Why so?  Well, this is in large part because unless he's one of the Beatles, the mania for the world's most eligible bachelor gets old eventually.  Soon, his imperfections come out more....plus, he's just not as exciting as he once was - no one with hype ever is.  This is not a reflection on him so much as it is on the fact that ANY kind of fad gets old after a while. 

Fads:  I remember in the early 1980s when girls were going ga-ga over Duran Duran.  Now?  They're an 80s nostalgia band.  I remember a boy band that the girls were screaming over called New Kids on the Block (whose music sucked, btw) in the late 1980s into the early 1990s.  They disappeared within three years.  (And they were never good anyway!!!!)  I remember when the TV show, Beverly Hills 90210, was so popular in the early 1990s and the actors Luke Perry and Jason Priestley ruled the hearts and hormones of every girl in America.  But where are they now?  No one knows.  I remember in the late 1990s when James van der Beek and Joshua Jackson of the TV show, Dawsons Creek were the craze.  Who gives a sh*t about them now?  No one.  I remember how women were salivating over David Duchovny in the mid-1990s at the peak of his TV show, "The X-Files."  You notice we don't hear of Duchovny anymore?  I remember 2003 when there was a stupid phenomenon called Bennifer (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez).  Well, you KNOW what happened to that.  The same thing is gonna happen to Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Justin Timberlake (who are boring right now, much less in the future).

The point being is that everything that's the current hot thing gets old eventually.  And if you're not the hottest thing around but are instead playing second fiddle....be patient because you will be....because you are the alternative that they eventually WILL consider.  And unlike the First Fiddle dude, when you play Second Fiddle there won't as far - or fast - a fall from your pinnacle....because you've already been their friend but revealed only a little of yourself at a time. Meanwhile, they know everything they could want to know about Mr. First Fiddle.

And that is the advantage of playing second or third fiddle when in a group of guys and girls.  It sooooo pays.  'Cause if I can't be the Beatles.....I'd like to be the Rolling Stones.  If I can't be Frank Sinatra.....I'd like to be Dean Martin.  So I tell you now, while in that Second Fiddle or Third Fiddle category....revel in it! You are an alternative that will be considered once First Fiddle no longer is the "in" thing.

P.S. It also helps if you're busy dating other people.  Somehow that adds to your appeal within a group of single women, even if they don't know you're seeing other girls.  But even though they may not know you're seeing dating other girls, they can FEEL it, they can SENSE it.  And even though they swear up and down that they don't like players.....deep down, they really do.

PPS. The virgin girl I've been sort of seeing just said to me on the phone today, "You are usually so cold to me.  I've never been treated like that by any guy before.  And yet....I tolerate it."  Every guy she dated prior to me treated her like a queen and like she was the only one for him.  And she eventually dumped each one.  Meanwhile, she says I'm not so nice to her and constantly insinuates that I am seeing other girls.  As a result, she sometimes acts irritated and frustrated with me.  But she still sees me.

Proof that a man can become whatever he wants to be.....and do it his way:

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,823900,00.html

Man, I also wish I could just do what I wanted to do, make millions of dollars in the process, and make the whole world meet my demands on my terms.....or else.  But is that just a fantasy that one man achieved?

One thing is for sure:  We'll never see another guy like this again.

             "Being Cool"

Being cool......is when you just don't give a f*ck what others think - but at least have some style about it.  Meet the King of Cool:

                            "First Fight with a Girl"

My V-day was a repeat of what happened on the 13th (as recorded in my previous entry).  Only this time I spent a lot more money.

Seeing two different girls, especially within a few minutes of each other, is VERY draining.  But I think I will be able to stop seeing one of them as she is seriously proving to be very high-maintenance.

I just talked to her and upset her.

"Look," I said on my phone, "last night, when I said I didn't want you to touch my face (she has this habit of rubbing and stroking my face while I sleep) THREE different times, you never listened.  So I finally had to tell you to stop again, and all you could say was, 'Hwa-ga-nah-suh?' ('Are you angry?') over and over again.  I mean, rather than worry about how tired I was (she knows I'm really stressed and tired these days), you only worried about your hurt feelings."

She was silent for a long time.  Then she spoke and said, "But, you could have said it more nicely."

"I told you three or four different times not to stroke my face while I slept!  But you didn't listen.  So when you did it again and woke me up again, what did you EXPECT me to say?  Did you expect me to be pleasant???  And after waking me up again and me telling you not to be touching my face while I slept, all you could say was 'Hwa-ga-nah-suh?' 'Hwa-ga-nah-suh?'  I know your feelings are important, too, but you KNOW I haven't been getting much sleep with all the stess at work."

She was silent.

"I mean, is that all you cared about?" I continued.  "You say you were worried about me this morning because I looked so tired...but it was you who kept waking me up in the night by stroking my face even though I told you not to do it....and when I finally had to speak louder for you not to touch me on the face while I was asleep, you kept me up even longer just to ask me over and over if I was angry because of the way I spoke."

She was silent still and then she finally spoke up: "So you are angry now?"

"No, not angry," I said softly.  "Just disappointed.  You were more worried about your hurt feelings than you were about me and my health (which has been getting steadily worse) and what's going on at my work."

"No, no...it's not that..." she tried to say.  Then almost breaking into tears, she said, "Ever since we met, I didn't have much confidence in our relationship.  I don't feel strongly that it would last.  But I liked you......"  Keep in mind, she had had two engagements prior to meeting me.

"Hey, I have to get back to work," I said, trying to be softer.  "My boss is waiting."

The phone went dead.

I called back right away.  "Why did you just hang up?"

She was quiet for a minute.  Then she said in Korean, "I feel awful now!"  And then she sobbed.

I mumbled an apology.  But then I told her I did have to go and promised I would call her later. So we said good-bye and hung up.

I'm still pretty freakin' angry right now about being woken up constantly last night with all the stroking of my face....and that the girl was just upset by the fact that I was getting irritable and NOT by the fact that I feel like absolute sh*t because I didn't get much sleep last night BECAUSE SHE KEPT WAKING MY *SS UP.  But I also feel bad for the girl.

Perhaps it's time to call it quits with this one.  I don't think I can handle much more of this.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.

Yes, I am still seeing two girls.  Stupidly, I squeezed them both into last night.  Met the virgin girl for dinner (and lots and lots of beers).  Met the other girl five minutes afterwards totally buzzed and slept at her place, IN HER BED WITH HER (but no, no sex).  Still don't know how I made it to work, as I am TIRED.

Well this being V-day I feel like it's confession time.  Among my many subscribers on xanga, there are those girls I've secretly wanted to date.  First off, there is M.......

Oh never mind.  But four come to mind.  Their locations range from LA to Chicago to NY to DC.  Their occupations range from education to accounting to jewelry to medicine.  But I also respect them a lot and like them as friends, so I really shouldn't be thinking of them in such a way.  But DAMN they are hot!

On another note......

The girl at whose place I crashed last night was feeling up my arms and shoulders and said I needed more muscle.  She said I looked weak.  So guess what I'm gonna be doing at the gym today prior to running?  Sigh.  I hate lifting weights so.  Anyways....

Have a great Valentine's Day, everyone!!!!!

Question:

Do girls know when they're being two-timed?  I swear, these two chicks I'm seeing must have ESP.

              "BFK's Valentine's Day Plans"

Two beautiful girls.  Just like exactly ten years ago when I was living it Korea, (actually more than two girls ten years ago, but that's another story) and all the drama that comes with it.

One is a nice girl but who has had her own fair share of drama.  Engaged twice.  Loved men.  Been loved by those men.  Couldn't handle the men's drama.  Broke up with them and moved on.  Loving her single life as a career woman and was quite happy being single and seeing her siblings' children....when suddenly the most experienced and baddest of players (but one, we hope, with a new Christian mindset) picked her up at Tysons Corner Mall.

The other is a true conservative girl, straight from her parents' mindset of Park Chung-Hee's conservative South Korea.  Conservativism at its best.  Still a virgin even though she looks hotter than most hot Korean girls I see at a nightclub.  One almost like from my childhood when I used to dream about marrying a nice, attractive, virgin, Korean girl.....and then years later gave up on that idea when I realized that there was NO SUCH THING as a Korean-American virgin girl.  But then I found out....she's one of the rare ones that does indeed exist.  Only she's perplexed and slightly dismayed that I, someone of the same mindset as herself, allowed myself to become so tainted with the whole 1990s-2000s mindset about sex and dating.

Ah, who to choose?!?!?  To whom do I dedicate this song?  (Entourage fans may like the group, but they may not know that the group recorded this Ronettes' song; if you want the original sound, and better version, click on here.)

And why, even now, do I think of H E R?