Question:

Do girls know when they're being two-timed?  I swear, these two chicks I'm seeing must have ESP.

              "BFK's Valentine's Day Plans"

Two beautiful girls.  Just like exactly ten years ago when I was living it Korea, (actually more than two girls ten years ago, but that's another story) and all the drama that comes with it.

One is a nice girl but who has had her own fair share of drama.  Engaged twice.  Loved men.  Been loved by those men.  Couldn't handle the men's drama.  Broke up with them and moved on.  Loving her single life as a career woman and was quite happy being single and seeing her siblings' children....when suddenly the most experienced and baddest of players (but one, we hope, with a new Christian mindset) picked her up at Tysons Corner Mall.

The other is a true conservative girl, straight from her parents' mindset of Park Chung-Hee's conservative South Korea.  Conservativism at its best.  Still a virgin even though she looks hotter than most hot Korean girls I see at a nightclub.  One almost like from my childhood when I used to dream about marrying a nice, attractive, virgin, Korean girl.....and then years later gave up on that idea when I realized that there was NO SUCH THING as a Korean-American virgin girl.  But then I found out....she's one of the rare ones that does indeed exist.  Only she's perplexed and slightly dismayed that I, someone of the same mindset as herself, allowed myself to become so tainted with the whole 1990s-2000s mindset about sex and dating.

Ah, who to choose?!?!?  To whom do I dedicate this song?  (Entourage fans may like the group, but they may not know that the group recorded this Ronettes' song; if you want the original sound, and better version, click on here.)

And why, even now, do I think of H E R?

                    "The Open Arms of a Pretty Girl"

So I got all this stress within me now.  I have a lot of projects to take care of here at work and a boss who's riding me hard.  I have all kinds of drama (and not the good kind either) at my church, including in my own Bible study.  And I have some serious decision-making in regards to certain girls who are in my life now.  On top of that, I just drank my first cup of coffee of the day, and I am WIRED!

So now I am feeling very vulnerable and alone.  And so after I eat dinner with my parents tonight, I am thinking of going by the house of this one girl - or having her come to my condo - and wrapping my arms around her.  It would make me feel better. 

But then I know what would likely happen afterwards (yes, get your mind in the gutter).  And then there would be feelings of guilt on my part - following the feelings of ecstasy and utter joy - and attachment on hers.

But it would feel nice, even for only a moment, to hold her. Especially today.  So now I must decide if I should go over to her place or not tonight.

ARGH!  Is this the time when priests and monks do their most intense praying?

She cried again!!!!!!!!!!

Crap, I am getting so sick and tired of Hillary tearing up everytime there's a crucial primary!  She did this sh*t in New Hampshire....and it worked.  Now she's doing it right before Super Tuesday.

Hillary, cut this sh*t out!!!

I got a lot going on in my life now, a LOT, from watching over my family, doing work, taking care of church matters and all its ensuing drama, and dealing with my recent drama with dating girls.  Having said that, all I am ready to write right now is about this particular email I received.  I came into work today and found an email from a girl replying to me after I recently emailed her first - for the first time in a long time.  This is a girl who has recently been on my mind again, unfortunately.  In her email, she said:

"I had a dream of you last nite...

In my dream ..

I was living with parents..

One day, you sneaked into my place..

And I asked you 'Can you stay one day with me...??'

Your answer was 'Yes'

It was strange dream."

And BFK is now full of pain.

     "BFK and a Virgin Talk About Sex"

So last night, I met the naive virgin girl.  And man, was she looking good!

And after we ate dinner, we drove by a Starbucks to sit and talk over coffee.  But by then it was 9 pm, and the coffee shop was closed.  So we decided to stay in my car and talk.

I told her I felt awkward around her because she was unlike any other girl I had ever met (at least those with the potential for marriage); I told her that the type of girls I had typically dated were the kind who had had a LOT of relationship experience, which I implied included sex, which oftentimes led them to being jaded and cynical about men.  But while they were jaded and cynical, at least they knew what was what in the world; this girl, who was in her thirties, on the other hand was like an innocent girl from elementary school when it came to relationships....which was not necessarily a bad thing because at least she wasn't jaded and cynical and burnt out from a string of bad relationships.  For her part, I was apparently the one guy who had been interested in her....that she could be interested in return, even though she knew I had not led the life of an angel.  As a result, we were both, despite our mutual attraction, a bit unsettled around each other.

We talked about EVERYTHING, be it our family backgrounds, work, hobbies, thoughts, political affiliations, favorite movies, etc.  And then.....THE topic came up.  Don't ask me how.  Let's pick up the conversation in the middle:

She said, "Can I ask you something...personal?"

"Yeah, sure."

"I thought about this after the last time we met.  Y-you seem to think a lot about a physical relationship, based on your past relationships...I mean...i-it's important to you."

I paused.  "Um, don't get me wrong," I replied nervously. "It's not THAT important to me.  It's just a one small aspect of a marriage."  Man, could I feel my nose growing.

"I see."

"Yeah," I continued, looking at her.  "PLEASE don't misunderstand me....I am NOT interested in a physical relationship with you AT ALL before we're married."

She nodded, also nervous.  "But it seems it is an important aspect of marriage for you?"

"Well, as you know, it's how well the man and woman get along and have similar values and all that's important....because the, uh, passion wears off soon after they're married."

"Oh really?" she said.

I continued, "Yeah.  But, uh, do you KNOW what goes on in a marriage between a man and a woman?  I mean, like on the wedding night and all?"  Stupid question, I know, but being with a virgin unsettled me.

She replied, "Yes, of course I know.  And I heard some people tell me that it's a very important part of a marriage.  Do you think that way, too?"

I stared at her awkwardly.  "Uh....not after the first month."

"Oh! Is that how long it takes....for the passion to go away?"

"Well, I run a lot, so for me it might last a few weeks longer," I said, not believing I was involved in this conversation.  "But I am aware that it's not the sex that's important; it's how well the man and woman get along afterwards...how they talk - because they got nothing to do but talk to each other the rest of their lives."

She nodded again.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that whoever I married would have several YEARS of romping in bed to endure with me.  After all, I am the BFK, long-distance runner.

I looked into her eyes again and said, "Uh, lemme ask you something.  Aren't you....kind of scared of, uh, what takes place on the wedding night and all, since you've never.....?  You know."

She said, "I don't know if I can do everything properly like a good wife should.  But I will do my best to be a good wife.  I will be good to my husband and do my duties as a wife."

"Th-that's all nice," I said staring at her awkwardly, "but I don't think any guy wants a girl to sleep with him because it was her DUTY.  He wants her to do it because SHE wants to do it."

We both looked away embarrassed.  Then she said, "I will be a good wife."

I looked at my watch.  "Hey, it's 10 o'clock.  I'd better get you back."

"Okay."

I turned on the ignition and pulled my car out of the space in the empty parking lot.  Then I held out my hand and said gently, "C'mon."  And she brought her hand to mine.  She stroked my fingers affectionately as I drove her to her car.

After saying good-bye to her, I went home very perplexed.  Dating a virgin is new territory for me.  And it feels so awkward.  But it's also.....strangely refreshing.

Extra note:  I may go to LA later this year....but will be avoiding anything related to this site: http://www.nexlevelproductions.com/    I encourage you all to do the same.  It's basically run by sleaze.

Happy Birthday to warrenbk!

And on my end, yes, I am still seeing both Korean girls that live in this area, trying to get to know each of them better, one, an innocent virgin girl looking for marriage as a sort of duty, but also as a way to find love for the first time.....the other, looking for marriage also but knowing she also wants love, passion (including the hot sex), and romance after a lifetime of dating, drama, two engagements to be married, and disappointment in the men she was dating.

Then there is the third Korean girl (the one I'm not supposed to talk about on this blog), who lives far away.....who is a sort of combination of the two (except for the fact that she is also very spiritual)....and I don't know what's going on with her.

Then there is me, who is so.....confused. 

But I'll figure it all out somehow - and have a good time in the process.    Because I am the BFK!!!!

                           "Three Girls"

One girl living far away from here wants to cool it with me and just be friends for now.  Or does she?

So soon after that, I meet two other girls who live around here (one at a time of course).  And the chemistry I have with each of them is good.  I mean REALLY good.

So I am all ready to get to know each of these two local Korean girls, both very pretty and kind of fobby, and both have great careers and personalities.  One is a naive virgin, but you just know she'll rock her man in bed once she finally does it, and yeah, she really likes me.  The other (this girl I picked up at Tysons Corner Mall in Falls Church, VA of all places) is not as naive and just exudes sex and sensuality.  She seems to like me also....but with a slightly wary view of men and relationships so prevalent among Korean girls who have had their fair share of romance and drama and heartbreak over the years.

And as I get to know each of these two local girls, I find....that I will never be totally comfortable unless I know for sure what's going on with the first girl.

Isn't life funny?

Okay, to those of you who subscribe to me even though I don't know you, that's fine.  But when you put up Friend Lock or whatever....and DON'T include me so that I can't see your page, it's delete time.

Heath Ledger....what a tragedy!  But I have to ask:  Am I the only guy who never watched a movie with him in it?

Updates: 

Even though I am not really allowed to talk about her, let me just say that the girl is cooler than I could have ever thought.  And that's all I can say right now.  Despite all the lies and backstabbing and such that goes at a Korean-American church, she knows how to stick by her principles....a diamond in the rough.  What a girl!

Okay, it's official.  I am now g*y, since I do this whole Facebook thing.  I can't believe that people take this thing so seriously!  Meanwhile, I shall wage a one-man battle to ensure the survival of Xanga because....I AM THE BFK!  So on to today's topic:

"The Moral Complexities of Breaking Up Due to Cheating"

Back in grad school, I had this one classmate with whom I was talking as I was getting over a recent break-up with my girlfriend.  My classmate was telling me that about his own break-up a few years back.

It seems his girlfriend had cheated on him with another dude.  I don't know to what extent, but with cheating, I assume there was penetration involved.  So, in a fit of justified anger, my classmate broke up with his girlfriend, and despite her attempts to talk again later and reconcile, he refused to have anything to do with her.

Now.....my classmate had left off certain details when he broke up with his girlfriend. 

#1) He had already been thinking about breaking it off with the girl for sometime....although he never shared this thinking with his girlfriend.  So when he found out she had cheated, he had a legitimate reason to end it with her - basically an easy way out - and he used it to his advantage.  Never ONCE did he mention that he had already been thinking about it for a while.  So he basically let her think that it was her cheating that got him to end the relationship.

#2) My classmate was also guilty of cheating on his girlfriend.....just PRIOR to her cheating on him.  And yes, I'm sure that that meant there was plenty of penetration as well as lots of oral stuff.  But he also kept this from his girlfriend as he angrily broke it off with her for HER cheating.

Now here's the moral stickiness, as far as my thinking goes:  Yes, my classmate was angry that his girlfriend let some other guy's c*ck go inside of her, and I would have been angry about that, too, if I had been in his shoes.  But my classmate was already thinking about breaking up with his girlfriend, long before she cheated on him.  And this dude had cheated on his girlfriend BEFORE she cheated on him.   

So did he cross some sort of moral line by breaking it off with his girlfriend.....and letting her think that it was all her fault because of her having cheated that one time?  He basically denied her the complete truth.....that he was likely gonna end the relationship anyway, with or without her cheating, and that he had also been scum by sticking his OWN c*ck into another girl.  This kind of information might have made the girl feel a little better about the break-up. 

But no, the guy kept it all to himself, and got exactly what he wanted; he got some *ss from another girl and his girlfriend never found out....he got a legitimate (and understandable) reason for breaking up with the girl, which he used to his advantage to do that which he had already wanted to do anyway.....and he was able to put the blame for the break-up all on his gf.

Hell, if this had been me, I would have told the girl, "Look I wanna break-up.  You cheated on me, but I've always considered you to be a pain in the *ss anway.  And you should also know....I banged another chick, too.  And it was good!!!!"  But this guy chose instead to play the wronged victim and put all responsiblity on the girl by not being more forthcoming with the truth.  Was this good revenge?  or did it make him appear pathetic that he was so wronged while he played the innocent role?  and did the fact that the girl lost a relationship under the assumption that it was all HER fault....scar her for life?  And was this a bad thing?

Life is funny and complex, and I hope to learn something from this incident to help me with present and future circumstances.  But I don't know what moral lesson to draw from this.....other than to not cheat.  Anything else?  Always tell the whole truth?